Broken Bits

2018-03-26T19:57:06+00:00 December 29th, 2014|

On the surface I look like a well-adjusted successful middle-class business woman and a happy mum of two fabulous boys; scratch the surface a little and you’ll learn it was not always so glossy.

Life threw some pretty nasty curve balls at me as a young woman, sent to boarding school at the age of eleven, never to live at home again and the victim of a serious sexual assault as a teenager; what seemed like an inevitable decline into drugs and alcohol defined most of my 20’s. I lived a double life, one of a successful young woman (having started the first of many profitable businesses at the age of 21). The other, a woman in deep pain, relentlessly trashing my body as the worthless object the rape had taught me it was.

I had a burning desire to live and an inexhaustible appetite for self-harm and self-sabotage. For a decade it was touch and go which side was going to win. I started reaching for self-help books in my late teens and spent hours with counselors, trying to find a way through the torment that seemed to be my life. Each year I would take two steps forward and one back, some years it was three steps back.

I never gave up, I believed it was possible to be happy and whole and have relentlessly pursued this vision for the last thirty years.

The healing began when I started to realise that the old counselling model was broken, that spending hours, weeks and often years re-living past events focusing on all the things in my life I didn’t want was exactly what I shouldn’t be doing. Instead calling on many sources and mentors, I built a repertoire of daily actions and philosophies that resulted in me creating a life without fear and full of abundance.

It is these experiences and tools that I am now passionate to share. I believe what kept me amongst the living was learning to believe in myself and my right to live a life without fear or limits.

Thirty years later, happily married and many of the boxes ticked, I am now on a mission to teach anyone who wants to learn how to create change in their life, how to believe in themselves and start to appreciate the greatness that is in each of us.

I see so much personal development content out there which is great. However most of it is theory, theory will only go so far – it is the doing that creates change.

It doesn’t matter what your story is, I work with a set of  tasks and tools that if applied, have a profound impact on how you see yourself and the outcomes you create in your life. For the last ten years, I have put these exercises into practice, first with myself and then with hundreds of people.

We must celebrate our broken bits, look at our life’s experiences and cherish them all – even when we were not at our finest. Most of us, (except for the odd psychopath) always try and do the best we can with what we have at the time. It is all of these moments that make us so wonderfully unique and allow us to understand what others are experiencing.


PS: Have you joined the Belief School Facebook Group? Connection, Courage and a wee bit of Badass!

This group is for people who are loving and looking for the same things you are. Brave, open and positive peeps, who want to chew over some of the tough stuff in an environment of respect and badassery! Join us here for all the good stuff.

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  1. Brandi March 17, 2015 at 1:22 am - Reply

    You are an Amazing Woman. I Love you to bits ❤️

  2. Nanci March 25, 2015 at 9:53 pm - Reply

    I am inspired by you Paula. Thank you for heart sharing. You are amazing. Love you

  3. Becky March 26, 2015 at 2:06 am - Reply

    Amazing!! Well done, Paula! This is exciting stuff that you are offering the world 🙂

  4. Christina March 26, 2015 at 3:09 am - Reply

    True inspiration, you are an amazing lady 🙂

  5. Rachael Morgan March 26, 2015 at 4:00 am - Reply

    Love that “celebrate our broken bits”. My broken past has made me an awesome human being. Can’t wait to read more from you.

  6. Oliver Maurice March 26, 2015 at 5:26 am - Reply

    Ok I’m in
    Thank you

    • Paula Gosney March 26, 2015 at 9:54 pm - Reply

      Yay – I so want men to come on this journey with us! XP

  7. Tina March 26, 2015 at 5:31 am - Reply

    Raw, honest & authentic! I’d expect nothing less from the woman I met at Heart! Looking forward to following this and sharing the journey…

  8. Crawford Miller March 26, 2015 at 6:58 am - Reply

    So very true – catch sight of your potential, make fulfilling it a priority – and life changes. And btw you don’t need an editor Paula! xxx

    • Paula Gosney March 26, 2015 at 10:00 pm - Reply

      Thank you. XX Coming from a writer I admire, I’ll take that compliment! XP

  9. Gabriella March 26, 2015 at 7:17 am - Reply

    Powerful story Paula

  10. Hans March 26, 2015 at 8:40 am - Reply

    Paula, you are very, very brave… I too am a victim and it took me 27 years to open up and do something about it… I’d like to know more

    • Paula Gosney March 26, 2015 at 9:53 pm - Reply

      Hey Hans, Thank you for your words and your honesty. I am going to be sharing heaps and posting so much about what I have learnt. One of the most important turning points for me was realising, it had nothing to do with me! XP

  11. Sue March 26, 2015 at 11:13 am - Reply

    You are a bold and amazing woman with so much to give! Love you!!

  12. Deb March 27, 2015 at 4:49 am - Reply

    Awesome Paula – looking forward to more insights xx

  13. Pam March 27, 2015 at 11:04 pm - Reply

    well written and well lived. The best teachers, guides and mentors are those who are authentic and living their dreams and passions xx

    • Paula Gosney March 28, 2015 at 12:59 am - Reply

      Thanks beautiful, you have so been one of those for me – by being who you are. XP

  14. Maria M March 28, 2015 at 7:09 am - Reply

    You have forgiven. You have surended. You have reached your higherself! I’m not sure you realise how many gifts you have, they radiate from you! Xm

    • Paula Gosney March 28, 2015 at 8:50 am - Reply

      Thank you Maria. XP

      • Paula Gosney March 29, 2015 at 10:36 pm - Reply

        We all do it Rick, the first step is becoming aware – once you start noticing then you are able to change. Belief School is a few months away, you will love it, it will really help you see that you are already awesome!! XP

  15. Roni April 2, 2015 at 11:11 pm - Reply

    This is such a fabulous share. I agree, the counseling system is broken. Glad you’ve taken yourself on and are working to help others. Way to go, my friend!

  16. Cilla June 26, 2015 at 5:04 am - Reply

    Nga mihi aroha e koa ki a koe he wahine toa, he wahine kaha mo to tautoko ki a matou e pukuru nga mea. Wonderful courage and bravey to tell your story, perhaps others will release their “broken bits” too.

    • Paula Gosney June 27, 2015 at 6:58 am - Reply

      Thank you Cilla, that is why I tell my story – to encourage others to know that it is their broken bits that make them so special. XP

  17. Olavo December 2, 2015 at 11:14 am - Reply

    Paula. My sincere respect and admiration. You are a Amazing Woman. You are a winner! God bless you! BRZ Nat. Flag. XP

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