On the surface I look like a well-adjusted successful middle-class business woman and a happy mum of two fabulous boys; scratch the surface a little and you’ll learn it was not always so glossy.
Life threw some pretty nasty curve balls at me as a young woman, sent to boarding school at the age of eleven, never to live at home again and the victim of a serious sexual assault as a teenager; what seemed like an inevitable decline into drugs and alcohol defined most of my 20’s. I lived a double life, one of a successful young woman (having started the first of many profitable businesses at the age of 21). The other, a woman in deep pain, relentlessly trashing my body as the worthless object the rape had taught me it was.
I had a burning desire to live and an inexhaustible appetite for self-harm and self-sabotage. For a decade it was touch and go which side was going to win. I started reaching for self-help books in my late teens and spent hours with counselors, trying to find a way through the torment that seemed to be my life. Each year I would take two steps forward and one back, some years it was three steps back.
I never gave up, I believed it was possible to be happy and whole and have relentlessly pursued this vision for the last thirty years.
The healing began when I started to realise that the old counselling model was broken, that spending hours, weeks and often years re-living past events focusing on all the things in my life I didn’t want was exactly what I shouldn’t be doing. Instead calling on many sources and mentors, I built a repertoire of daily actions and philosophies that resulted in me creating a life without fear and full of abundance.
It is these experiences and tools that I am now passionate to share. I believe what kept me amongst the living was learning to believe in myself and my right to live a life without fear or limits.
Thirty years later, happily married and many of the boxes ticked, I am now on a mission to teach anyone who wants to learn how to create change in their life, how to believe in themselves and start to appreciate the greatness that is in each of us.
I see so much personal development content out there which is great. However most of it is theory, theory will only go so far – it is the doing that creates change.
It doesn’t matter what your story is, I work with a set of tasks and tools that if applied, have a profound impact on how you see yourself and the outcomes you create in your life. For the last ten years, I have put these exercises into practice, first with myself and then with hundreds of people.
We must celebrate our broken bits, look at our life’s experiences and cherish them all – even when we were not at our finest. Most of us, (except for the odd psychopath) always try and do the best we can with what we have at the time. It is all of these moments that make us so wonderfully unique and allow us to understand what others are experiencing.