Drop the Rope

2017-03-01T22:02:09+00:00 April 1st, 2015|

Sweat is running into your eyes, your hands are aching, jaw clenched. The adrenaline is pumping through your veins. Shoulders heave, the energy you are expending is extraordinary.

The force is just as strong coming from the other end of the rope.  Irritation is mounting, they pull, you pull harder, they pull again – one minute you’re ahead, gaining more traction – they double their efforts, you are losing ground. It’s exhausting and relentless, you don’t think you can go on. Then it dawns on you – why am I pulling on this rope? There is absolutely nothing here to gain but a little extra rope and the right to say you won.

So you drop the rope.

Instant relief, your heart rate starts to fall, followed by your breathing coming into line, you get some perspective and out of the heat of battle, your mind clears – why was I tugging so furiously?

DTR. Print it on a T-Shirt. Write it on your wall!

Drop the rope. If you are battling anyone, your partner, your kids, a work colleague, a situation, even yourself – DTR. Let go of your end. Stop tugging. In your mind’s eye, actually see yourself dropping a great big heavy rope, feel how good it is to not have to participate anymore. Just let it go, watch the conflict fall away.

In this space of calm where you are not reacting, not needing to be right, not desperate to be heard. In this space, possibility peeps through, the world goes on, and more often than not, things work out.

Often we don’t even mean to pick up the rope, someone hands it to us and we find ourselves caught up in some silly conflict. Don’t pick it up, say to yourself, no thank you, not today.

Don’t drop it in anger, don’t drop it with drama. Don’t drop it passive-aggressively, not righteously, nor as the martyr. In all these cases you aren’t dropping it at all, you are still in the game, giving it energy and fuel.

Drop the rope with love in your heart for yourself and compassion and empathy for others. Say nothing if that is all you can manage at the time.

Or say thank you, I’m done – we’re ok. I don’t need to be right, or heard, to clear my conscience , or vent my fear. I am ok with just ME knowing how I feel and who I am.

XP

 

PS: Have you joined the Belief School Facebook Group? Connection, Courage and a wee bit of Badass!

This group is for people who are loving and looking for the same things you are. Brave, open and positive peeps, who want to chew over some of the tough stuff in an environment of respect and badassery! Join us here for all the good stuff. www.beliefschoolcommunity.com

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5 Comments

  1. tamara April 10, 2015 at 3:46 am - Reply

    Thanks Paula, needed this today. You make it sound so simple.

    • Paula Gosney April 10, 2015 at 8:55 am - Reply

      Gosh, it is so not simple – but when we do it, it feels amazing. Even if you just succeed every now and then at first, you will slowly get better because the reward will reinforce the practise. XP

  2. Angela May 19, 2015 at 10:22 am - Reply

    Thank you. So simple – if only I could remember when I’m gripping the darn rope. Works nicely as a hashtag too: #droptherope

    • Paula Gosney May 19, 2015 at 8:53 pm - Reply

      It’s cool aye! I have a couple of friends that we text DTR to each other when we are in the thick of it and can’t get perspective. XP

  3. Kate December 14, 2016 at 10:08 pm - Reply

    Thanks dropping multiple ropes today!

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